Genmafication: A Fic of Battered Cliches?
by ToastedPine
Summary: Wherein Genma learns to accept himself if he were someone else. An exploration of conventions in Ranko and Sailor Moon cross fiction.
1. Chapter 1

Author's foreword: For those of you who are reading me the first time, this is pretty out there in terms of my usual stuff. _**This is not your average everyday ordinary fic, but it does have your average everyday application of the same bad thinking that runs through an unevaluated story.**_

Hint: Think Rankofic.

Genmafication: Part 1

By

ToastedPine

Mould, dust, and darkness.

The sound of wood sliding against metal.

And then, the light.

The heavy barred door swung open. "Please father! Please, no!" a young boy pleaded. He was no older than twelve or thirteen. His face was stained with blood, snot, and tears.

"You like stealing food so much, let's see how much you can steal from in here," came an older rougher voice.

"Aurghh," the boy hit the ground shoulder first. He shakily pushed off on his uninjured side to right himself. A sudden loud thud distracted him from his own suffering, and made him aware of what had happened. Adrenaline surged through his body as he threw himself at the door and pounded desperately on the cold, unyielding barrier.

"Father! Father!" He pounded "Forgive me, I'll never do it again! I won't steal from the pantry anymore." His hand went numb. "It was only some dried fish…" He pounded one last time, barely making a sound. "…it was only some dry fish," he said to himself.

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He awoke to the face of his son. Not quite feeling up to rising, he decided to just study the boy's face. The boy had taken after his mother; being lean and easy on the eyes….

Genma snorted and forced himself awake. What was he doing getting jealous of the things he could not have? There was no use crying over spilt milk. He had raised the boy to have everything he was deprived of-- the art, the care, the women—and had succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. But what did he get for his trouble? Ingratitude.

He wondered if he had made a mistake years ago when he had married that woman. She had been young and rebellious teenager who had wanted to do anything and everything to defy her father. He could relate, or so he thought.

He had never married her for the money, which was why he had stayed by her side even after her father had cut his ties to her. He had no idea why, but after she had heard that, she had become jealous, obsessive, controlling. It had gotten to the point where living with her had become unbearable, and he had been forced to…seek solutions.

His only blessing now was that, thanks to the boy's engagement to Akane, Nodoka agreed that he and Ranma could live away from her so that the boy and his fiancée could cultivate their bond.

"Stupid Old Man," Ranma grumbled in his sleep.

He turned his attention to the sleeping boy beside him. Would he wake him today? Genma sniffed at that. Ranma had always been lacking in discipline, and refused to learn it despite all his efforts. Didn't Ranma realize that with an art as dangerous as Anything Goes, the only thing keeping him from becoming the dreaded master was discipline? He doubted Ranma would listen even if he did try, which he had, repeatedly. His son would not listen to his wise council though.

With a sigh, he decided against the usual routine. What would be the purpose of such an exercise in futility? He saw how the boy looked at him—like some tiresome pest that only had to be humoured. No, he wasn't in the mood to be taken for granted today.

Genma slid the window open and perched himself on the windowsill. He needed to raise his spirits, he needed to get away, and he knew just who to visit.

About two months ago, Tokyo Zoo had received a mature female panda. He did not know the specific details behind her coming to live in Japan, but he had heard from the zoo keeper that she was sterile. Overnight, Bamboo the panda had become the Zoo's treasured exhibit. Wanting only the best for their star attraction, the Zoo had given her plenty of room, even going so far as to import native plants from her home territory to create her own private forest.

Genma stood the edge of the perimeter fence. His heart yearned to see her again ever since that fateful day they had met.

He stared at the water in the metal pail he was holding. Unlike his son, he did not regard Jusenkyo as a curse. His panda side covered his ugliness; the man who could not even bear to look at himself in the mirror. He was bald and fat despite his best efforts. Practicing the art had given him a lot of muscle, but his store if lard refused to decrease.

Noticing a presence watching him, he turned to the left. It was Bamboo, and when their eyes met the yearning in his heart increased three-fold. Somehow, whenever he saw her, he felt immediately accepted. It was as if Bamboo understood his pain. Now that he thought about it, Bamboo sounded a lot like the name of one the boy's mates. He shook his head-- he came here to forget about his problems, not remember them.

Bamboo had changed his attitude towards his transformation. Being a Panda felt more… right. Almost as soon as the thoughts entered his skull, he tried to clear them away. He was human. He needed this, but he was human damn it! A small part of him asked why he had to consider himself human. There was nothing bad about being a panda was there? However, if there was one thing he was good at, it was keeping thoughts from taking over his mind. Genma took a cleansing breath, and all the unwanted thoughts disappeared.

Cold water from the bucket soaked his body. The tiny amount of disorientation told him that the transformation had finished, before he jumped over the fence.

For a panda trained in Anything Goes, moving around without being detected within the enclosure was a cinch. Soon, he was face to face with the being he had wanted to see all along, Bamboo.

He didn't approach her, even though he wanted to. No, that wasn't the way of the panda. He selected a stalk of bamboo that was rife with leaves and started tearing into it.

The leaves were actually quite tasty to his panda form, and it only took a few moments for Bamboo to settle down next to him with her own bundle of juicy leaves.

In this way, they spent the entire afternoon: in silence, chewing leaves.

Near sunset, Genma snapped out of his bliss enough to realize that he needed to be getting back. He never knew when the boy would get suspicious, and discover his secret, or his wife could decide to appear.

Unfortunately, given his luck, he would never find any lasting peace for himself. Genma had just finished getting hot water when he heard screaming at the far end of the zoo. There was trouble. Would Bamboo be in danger? Before he knew it, he was speeding towards the scene.

What he found when he arrived was strange even compared to the general strangeness that happened around the boy. It was a giant monster that was like a cross between a woman and a green dumpster. She was blocky and incredibly hideous with arms that seemed to be made of black plastic bags, only plastic bags wouldn't normally stretch out and cut things.

He grimaced. If this continued, Bamboo might get hurt– not to mention many innocent people. He wasn't dishonorable enough to let that happen if he could do something about it.

There was a flash of light, and then…

"Stop! Zoos are places for families to enjoy each others company while reveling in the presence of nature. For ruining the sanctity of such a place, in the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"

Genma gasped, shocked at the stupidity of the young lady who had magically appeared. What's more, she was wearing an embarrassing outfit similar to the ones he often saw worn by cheap women who catered to a 'special' clientele in red light districts.

He saw the monster wind up for an attack, and did the only thing he could. "Look out!" he yelled, and pushed her out of harms way just before black pliant death hit him squarely on the jaw. As a result, he took the attack full on without benefit of being able to brace.

The last thing he remembered before the darkness set was the smell of dirt and moldy bread.


	2. Chapter 2

Foreword: Special mention to Reviewer Bruce who's managed to scratch the surface of this fic's core.

Genmafication: Part 2

By

ToastedPine

Despite his best efforts, he and Ranma had grown apart. The boy used to look up to him, but those days were long gone. No one really wanted him around anymore. He suspected that even Soun barely tolerated his presence only for the sake of the promise to join the schools.

Genma wanted to bring back the bond they used to share, and he had a plan. He would challenge Ranma and show him through the art something that he could never communicate with words alone.

But lately…things never work out how like he planned. He had lost to the boy without the boy realizing a thing, at which point, he had gotten desperate and totally abandoned his any sliver of pride he had left. He was ashamed, ashamed the he used the Saotome Carp-on-a-Cutting-Board in front of Ranma. A father should never have to put himself completely at his son's mercy, and yet, he did, and carrying that memory was nearly unbearable….

He wouldn't give up though. He knew that his feelings would get through eventually.

"C'mon Son, give daddy some sugar. I love you, Boy!" He had his son locked in a vice-grip. It was the Cradle from Hell, but Soun and the rest had misunderstood the name. It hurt him to think how they could twist the meaning of the technique. Couldn't they see that it was the ultimate technique of paternal affection? Sure, he didn't have any experience to go by so he had to improvise, but they had to see that he was really trying to reach his son with his love. They would never understand the true hell of the technique: to be violently rebuffed by one's own son.

He wasn't fingernail grout, existing only to be casually flicked away. He was flesh and blood with a real heart and soul.

"Let go, aarrrgghhh!" Ranma struggled, but Genma stayed strong. He wouldn't let go, not until his feelings reached the boy.

The brooms and screeching were painful, but he wouldn't let go. He didn't care what happened.

He blinked…brooms? Screeching?

"Glaaurgrgrhhhh, what the—get him off me!" The spell of his dreams had lost its hold, and Genma blinked his eyes open. What was he doing?

"Ohmygodohmygodohmagawdwhatdowedoohe'sgotSetsunaandhe'snotlettinggo! Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" He saw a teenage girl running back and forth across the floor while crying a river. There were a few others who were still assaulting him with household implements, and to the side, an… effeminate boy rolling on the floor laughing?

What was he holding on to? It felt…softer than the boy. He looked. It was a woman… and a rather shapely one at that. He scrambled to release her from the Hell's Cradle and jumped to back, instinctively landing with his rear to the nearest exit.

"Forgive me, it was an accident," he said quickly. There were four girls with brooms; two still looked ready to strike at any moment.

The woman who he had been holding straightened herself out. She was tall, and no doubt the eldest among them. If he had to guess, he'd have to place her at around twenty-four to twenty-six. "That's quite all right, Mr. Saotome," she said. "We mean you no harm." She signaled the others to lower their weapons.

'Almost there,' Genma thought, inching his way in reverse. "That's all well and good, but I have places to be," he said, his hand reaching for the door handle. Why was he here? A bunch of girls taking him in to care for his injuries, their actions weren't natural.

"Wait," the woman said firmly enough that he has unconsciously sought out her eyes; they were an intense shade of red, piercing into his mind and compelling him to listen.

"W-why should I?" he asked, intending defiance.

Her expression softened. "Do you really have a place to go?" Sensing his wavering, she continued, "You saved a very important hero, and got injured in the process. From the way you move I can tell that you're a very good martial artist, good enough to have saved our friend without getting hit like you did, so it was either you were simply not in top condition or…" she walked forward until they were close enough that Genma could smell her lavender perfume, "You didn't see the point in dodging."

At those words, the memory of the incident played out in crystal clear detail. He saw the threat. He pushed the girl away. He relaxed his guard.

For a split second, he had actually wanted to die.

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He was a grown, bald man sitting in a circle of young women where there was much sniffling and tearing. Over the last few hours, he had told them of his life, his dreams, and his nonexistent future. These women had an affect on him. Their ability to put him at ease was almost magical.

"Your son's a jerk!" The fiery, raven locked girl he knew as Rei, shook her fist.

"So he really beat you up just so he could get the cup noodles?" the first blonde, Usagi, asked.

He sighed. "Yes, he did. In his defense, he was probably as hungry as I was."

Usagi stood up and struck a righteous pose, "Fathers are people who should be respected by their children. What he did was still wrong!"

Genma couldn't help forming a wane smile. No one had ever listened to his problems before-- not even his own mother. She had always been ashamed of him, ashamed of the anger he caused in his father. These women didn't treat him like a nuisance.

"Yeah!" Minako, the second blonde, agreed, "And don't worry about Bamboo, love knows no boundaries—be they vegetable, mineral, or bestial!"

"That…didn't sound quite right," said the brainy one who resembled Akane.

"Oh, don't be such a party-pooper, Ami," Makoto patted her friends shoulder. She turned to Genma, "And you're in good hands, we'll help you find your inner panda. Why just last week, we helped another boy find his inner pig!"

Ganma's smile wavered. Inner panda?

Seeing his discontent, they handed him a tray of home-made delectables. And as he crunched down on the sweets, he decided it didn't matter. Makoto did make the best tasting cookies….

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Everyone said their goodbyes, and left from what he later discovered was the Hino shrine. They had collectively decided that Genma would live with the 'Outers". He didn't know why they were called that, but he suspected Haruka and Michiru's outward show of affection may have been the cause. The two had wandered off in the middle of the meeting.

Far be it for him to question their poor naming sense.

"So," he said while walking alongside Setsuna, "What will happen now?" They took him in because he had helped that girl, who was some type of hero. He shook his head at that last thought; times really have changed when heroes took the form of the dreaded master's most perverted fantasy.

Normally, he'd be suspicious at such altruism, but he had felt at home among them. For some reason, it was as if he had known each and every single one of them for eons.

Setsuna looked at him from the corner of her eyes for a second before returning her attention to the way ahead. "You can live with us until you are able to sort your life out. I'm sure that a short reprieve from the chaos would do you a world of good."

Genma noticed she wouldn't say it directly. Was she was afraid the he might do something to harm himself if left alone?

"Of course," Setsuna smirked, "your lodgings won't be totally for free."

Genma raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" he remarked, more intrigued than suspicious.

"You'll see when we get there."

The home of the Outers, Genma found, was pretty impressive. It was a large western style house two stories tall, complete with a yard. The interior was well furnished by antique furniture, but the appliances and decorative items were mostly very modern. In leaner times, he would have considered it a perfect target.

"We're home." Setsuna slid out of her shoes.

A soft padding came from the interior before Genma saw someone that made the air catch in his throat.

Raven locks, a lithe frame, and crystalline violet eyes that echoed the very sadness of his own soul.

"Welcome back," greeted the dark cherub.

"Hotaru…" Genma's lips moved, bringing the girl's attention to him.

"Oh, we have a guest," she said. "Umm, you know my name. I'm sorry, have we met before?"

"Uhh…."

"I must have mentioned your name to him," Setsuna cut in. "Hotaru, meet Genma Saotome."

Genma blinked. Did she? That must've been the case.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." Hotaru bowed, her cuteness nearly causing Genma's teeth to melt.

"He'll be staying here with us for a little while."

"Um, okay, Setsuna-mama," she said, looking down. "I…I think I'll go to my room for a little while, if that's okay. I have homework to complete."

Setsuna barely got nod in before Hotaru had scuttled out of sight.

The green haired woman sighed. "She's why I brought you here. As you can see, she doesn't really get along well with other people. Haruka, Michiru, and I are very busy and can't give her the attention she deserves. I'd like you to watch over her, and more importantly, be her friend. She's had a difficult life, much like you. I'm hoping that you can relate with her in the way the rest of us never could."

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Figuring he owed the Outers for letting him stay, he spent about a week trying to get to the shy girl to open up, but despite the common bond he thought they shared, there was an unimaginably large rift between them. He was a tired old martial artist who knew nothing of a girls in this day and age.

Then one day…

Spash.

"Sorry about that," Haruka said, looking from her empty cup of cold barley tea.

"…"

"Growf."

"…"

"Growf."

Haruka slowly brought a shaking finger towards Genma. "P-p-panda!"

"Haruka?" Michiru ran in from the adjoining room.

"My goodness!" Michiru covered her mouth in shock.

Setsuna appeared seconds later and surveyed the situation. "Oh."

From the same room, timid, hesitant, "Haruko-papa? Michiru-mama?" A mob of black hair followed by violet eyes peaked from behind the doorframe.

All eyes turned to Hotaru who was first surprised, then hesitant, then curious, then hesitant again, before finally rushing behind Setsuna for protection.

Setsuna, being the one closest to Genma, afforded a closer look while still providing security. The others noticed the young girl's behavior immediately.

Haruka bent her knees, ready to protect Hotaru. "Setsuna, is it safe?"

The elder senshi's lips quirked. "Don't worry, it's perfectly safe, that's just Genma."

"What?!"

"How is that possible?"

"Next time, don't walk out before the meeting is over. Genma turns into a panda when splashed with cold water."

"But you do that all the time!"

"I never walk out." Setsuna smirked. Being the guardian of the Gates had its advantages.

"No fair!"

During the exchange, Hotaru had stepped out from behind her guardian, and walked slowly towards the beast.

"Uncle Genma?" she asked; her use of 'uncle' being more for the sake of politeness rather than any term of endearment.

Genma didn't know what to do. Setsuna had folded her arms, intending to observe without interfering. The other two were totally useless as well so he looked towards the final member of the household.

Hotaru was there, staring in wonder. He should have noticed earlier that this was the first time she ever approached him on her own. As a man, he was a complete failure, but maybe...

Slowly leaning forward to stand on all fours, Genma nudged Hotaru's fingers with his snout. The girl withdrew her hand as if stung; but after a moment, she stretched her hand towards him again to scratch the fur under his chin.

Like an oversized cat, Genma bobbed his head to the gentle pressure of the girl's petting. Soon, the shy girl's petting became more confident. It was going so well until Haruka chose to bring attention to Hotaru's actions. The girl avoided him for nearly a month after.

But it was a start.

Since Hotaru seemed more at ease with him as a panda, and he didn't care either way, he decided to remain in his cursed form around her. Everyone was surprised when he revealed his ability to pull signs out of nowhere, but that also quickly became the norm.

Surprisingly, hadn't needed the signs often. He was right that he had almost nothing in common with the girl. However, companionable silence needed no embarrassing attempts at forced conversation, no feigning social graces, and no regrettable mistakes.

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Genma lay back on the edge of the bathtub. It had been around a month since the zoo incident and he had been living peacefully ever since.

He winced at the sharp throbbing of his head. The warm bath had dulled the pain, but not nearly as much as he had hoped. It was Two A.M. in the morning, and recently, he had been having dreams. There weren't nightmares by any extent of the imagination. In them, he was in his panda form—no, that wasn't right, he truly was a panda.

There was also a girl who was constantly with him, and they lived together in a large, empty crystal palace. The experience of the dream was so vivid that he could even recall the smell of the overly sterile air he breathed, and yet, the girl was always faceless.

Lifting himself out of the bath, Genma winced once more. Had he been facing a mirror, he would have seen a glowing sigil on his forehead, but he was more concerned about changing back.

He opened the tap, splashed himself with cold water, and instantly felt relief-- though, not from the headache he was having.

He sat on his hind quarters, and lifted his forepaws to himself. The clarity that struck him within the mists of the bath was uncanny. He had wanted to change back into a panda. Back, like it was the way he was supposed to be.

Contentment and peace had always been beyond his reach. He was always struggling, whether it was the stresses of a father or his duty as a martial artist, there was always a challenge he had to beat or a fate he had to resist.

With Setsuna, Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru, he didn't have to keep fighting for every move he made. He was there and they needed him, but there were no demands other than he be himself.

He was…happy.

Ursine tears flowed freely. The headache was all but forgotten, and in its place, was a profound sense of completeness.

He pawed over to the mirror. This was his identity, Genma the panda: small ears, black and white fur, glowing sigil on his forehead and all…

"Growf?"

Setsuna chose that moment to walk into the bath, only she wasn't really Setsuna. There was a pop as another mental barrier collapsed. She was wearing the traditional Silver millennium battle garb, and from the power the senshi was radiating, it could only be one.

"Pluto," Genma spoke without making a sound or pulling out a sign.

The senshi of Pluto smirked before putting a pair of thin glasses on the panda. The glasses magically hovered in front of his eyes. "I see you have access to your telepathy. Welcome back, Professor."

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He didn't have all of his memories back, but he had recalled enough. He was the Professor, or 'Hakase', an appellation that was given as a compliment to his sheer brilliance. More than that, he was also the Panda of Order whose duty was to keep the chaos of destruction from touching the kingdom.

Living with the senshi of Saturn let him monitor the silence, and it suited his temperament better. He served the Silver Millenium for its principles, not its humanity.

"I'm not supposed to awakened here. Do you have any explanation for this, Pluto." Genma's stare was hard.

Setsuna raised her hands. "Don't look at me, I did nothing to manipulate the timelines. Her majesty did not make any attempts to resurrect you either."

Genma's mind was racing through a thousand theories a second. "Even if my soul were simply reborn, there should have been no way to bring me back."

Setsuna frowned, and with a flick of the wrist, materialized a manila folder. In it were pictures of an orange haired teenager in black robes and wielding a large sword. There was another picture of a teen, a girl, a rather well endowed girl.

Genma squinted, before using a paw to push side the pictures and read the documents and charts beneath.

"…Ichigo particles?" He looked at her.

"Yes, Particle Number One. We senshi aren't exactly famous for our naming sense…or is it that we were largely infamous? I can't say for sure," she waved it off. "That aside, According to Sailor Mercury, certain humans of this era have developed high spiritual attributes. As a result, they spread a type of spiritual radiation, but instead of causing poisoning, the radiation causes a change in the soul, awakening dormant factors and abilities."

Genma read some more of the report and raised a brow the way only a panda could. "The ability to undo reality?"

"…stupid bubble-headed girl and her stupid unlimited event-erasing powers that don't kill her on use."

"What was that?" Genma asked, unable to catch the senshi's grumbling fully.

"Nothing," Sestuna dismissed. "I won't lie to you, I did know that almost all the senshi give off these particles, and I had a hunch it was you when I met your reincarnation. This is simply a case of taking advantage of an opportunity. The enemies on the horizon will be tough and we need all the help we can get."

Genma tiredly nodded. "Your reasoning isn't flawed. First thing we have to do is have me stationed elsewhere within the city. I think a panda living with humans would more or less paint targets on your backs. You know I can take care of myself, so all I need is a place to get settled."

The senshi of Pluto flicked her wrist, and another manila folder appeared. "Already taken care of."

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Months passed, and thanks to Setsuna's connections, he had gained a residence at a major zoo. He lay on his back and rolled the tire using his hind and fore paws to give the children a show. He didn't know how, but he was now officially 'Hakase' the panda, a name that the zoo had given him because the glasses made him look 'smart'. He didn't need to worry about hot water since the guardian of time had arranged for the zoo staff to wash him with water-proof soap every so often.

He felt a snout tenderly nudging his cheek, and he responded by nuzzling back. It was Bamboo. Their relationship had developed to where they could freely show each other affection.

And to think, this all wouldn't have happened had he not fallen into Jusenkyo, and regained his former self.

Speaking of past lives….

Hakase looked at the sky before retreating into the bamboo forest, away from prying eyes. The princess was in trouble. It was time to do his part as General Apatite, the Silver Millennium Panda of Order.

The crest of Order blazed on his forehead, and he transformed in a flash of light. His costume was composed of larger, golden teeth, a silver leather jacket, and a mithril blue horned helm. Apparently, he had been in charge of covert security as well as the traditional royal sleep aid by way of counting Pandas that jumped over the fence. Fortunately, the current princess could sleep almost anywhere which meant that he wasn't needed for his secondary duty.

Another pull tugged at his senses. The princess must have tripped and fell again, but that was okay. The princess had to learn how to take care of herself. Otherwise, she'd never be fit to rule. He would just do what he usually did, hang back and intervene only when he was really needed.

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"You sure this is him Nabiki?" Soun asked as they made their way to the panda exhibit.

"For the last time, no I'm not totally sure." Nabiki grimaced. Was he genuinely concerned for his friend or simply apprehensive over the fate of his precious school? Not that she cared because she was perfectly safe from the fallout. As a martial artist and possible fiancée, she was meticulous in showing her father how much of a right off she was as both a martial artist and a fiancée.

"Waaaaaah! My little baby girl is mad at me!" Soun blubbered.

"Will you quit doing that! I checked my sources. Legally and officially, he's a panda from China. I only brought you here on the off chance that it's him." She didn't add that the house was getting too damp for her tastes.

"Here they are." Nabiki said, putting her hands in her pockets.

"Hakase!" Some children called in unison.

"The glasses are different," Soun observed.

"Yeah, how do they stay in place while he moves around like that?" Nabiki squinted. That was weird, which meant the likelihood of this 'Professor' being the fat fool was going up every second. The rest of what she saw didn't add up though, the weirdness that she had associated with the Soatome was present in a somewhat smaller quantity than usual, and the panda's body language held nothing of Genma. He was an intelligent panda to be sure, doing tricks in response to the children's calls, but they seemed to be nothing more than circus tricks blindly memorized through training.

She turned to Soun whose was getting watery at the sight of the panda. It seemed like she hadn't been wrong in what she saw. It never hurt to double check though. "Dad, do you think you could do something that only Genma would react too."

Soun's face immediately brightened at the prospect. "Of course! He may just be play acting, but there's no way I'm going to let my friend slip through my fingers!" He hurriedly dug into his gi to find something.

Nabiki shook her head. Her father, as much as she sort of cared about him was also a fool. Genma had to have gone through a lot of trouble to hide himself the panda-man wouldn't come back even if he were discovered.

"Aha!" Soun said, causing Nabiki to shift her attention. The man was triumphantly holding up a shiny, hundred yen coin.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

Her father grinned in response. "If that truly is Genma down there, then my dear friend would never be able to resist such a trap." He then lobbed the coin so that it landed next to the panda.

"Oh look, a hundred yen!" The Tendo patriarch yelled.

Nabiki watched carefully as her father got Hakase's attention. The panda simply shifted its weight over to one side, leaned down, and sniffed the coin, before lumbering lazily away. Hmmm, looks like it wasn't Genma after all.

"Unhand me this instant, I did nothing wrong! That panda down there could be my friend!" She heard her father's outrage. He was being hauled away by two security guards.

"He could be everyone's friend," said the guard patiently, "but it's wrong to throw foreign objects into the exhibit. What if the panda swallowed that coin you threw, and died? Then he wouldn't be able to become anyone's friend, would he, Grandpa?"

"Grandpa?! Why I never, I'll have you know that I'm still in the prime of my life!"

"Whatever you say. Now if you'd please come with us, we'll page for your next of kin to pick you up at the office."

"Oh, if that is all, then my daughter is right there," he pointed.

The two security guards looked around and saw Nabiki who was pointing at herself innocently as if to say 'who, me?'

"Is this your father?" One of the guards asked, already knowing the answer.

"Nope, I don't believe I've ever met this man in my entire life."

"Nabiki!" Soun was utterly taken aback, "Oh how could you forget your father in his time of need. Nabiki!"

"All right, that's about enough out of you," the guard said. "Sorry for the inconvenience, miss." He tilted his head before putting his full strength towards dragging the delirious senior.

Once they were out of sight, Nabiki shrugged her shoulders and decided to tour the rest of the zoo. She had paid good money to get in and she may as well get her yen's worth. Now if only she could remember where they kept the koalas….

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Hakase the panda deflated after the middle Tendo girl had left. It had been rather close, and he wasn't sure that she wouldn't be sharp enough to see right through him. Fortune seemed to be on his side though.

Upon further reflection, he realized that his escape from discovery wasn't simply luck. A panda had no need to be greedy; money was only ever a concern to those who led unnatural lives.

"Hakase!" A familiar voice called. He smiled, it was Hotaru coming for her weekly visit. Parting from her had been difficult, but the other Outers had managed to gain her trust after his departure. He really wasn't needed around her anymore for surveillance purposes since the girl had grown to be a moderately healthy and somewhat happy girl.

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The great freeze had come, but life went on. Just as predicted, Crystal Tokyo rose from the frozen wastes of earth's past civilization. It was a new era of peace, which would hopefully last for another millennium or more.

Unfortunately, he couldn't save everyone he wanted, and even the ones he was able to save eventually disappeared; immortality, as cliché as it sounds, was its own blessing and curse. Losing Bamboo had been one of the hardest blows he had ever taken. Even the passing of his own son, Ranma, at the ripe age of 365, didn't affect him so profoundly. Thankfully, Ranma was also the only human son that he ever had. He doubted he'd be able to survive seeing his cubs grow old and die.

Fortunately, he did have the help of other loved ones to support him. One of them in particular had grown into the role to such an extent that he could no longer imagine life without her.

Hakase rolled out off the luxurious, violet bed that he shared with his partner. In the entire span of two centuries, she had always been the first to rise.

"Good morning, Dearest," a full bodied womanly voice greeted. "You should hurry and have breakfast. The lunar guards aren't going to train themselves."

Hakase could only shake his head in dismay, almost a century and a half of training those greenhorns and they still couldn't get their act together. It was ironic that an artifact from his days as Genma had been critical in the final battle. Thanks in part to the training he had given the scouts in Anything Goes, they had been able to hold their own and had come out victorious.

Neo Queen Serenity had not forgotten the value of his teachings, and had given him the job of training the newcomers. He had accepted the job with minimal complaint since it helped stave off the boredom.

"I'll be right along Hotaru," he telepathically sent before heaving a happy sigh.

Yes, it truly was a panda's life for him.

End.

Author's notes:

Special thanks to Fallacy, Yasuhei, Foesjoe, Daniel Jess Gibson, and Spokavriel for their editing and input.

For those who are interested in learning more about the background concepts behind this story, I have C&C threads at Hawk's The Fanfiction Forum.


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